Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
