You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
We had sex on a dog bed..
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
