is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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