I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
