No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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