why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i think i have herpe
just one?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
