Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
