the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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