where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
