My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
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