mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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