Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
