i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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