The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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