Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize