So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Randomize
