no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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