I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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