The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
