if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Did I show you my penis last night?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
