So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize