As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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