i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
