defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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