omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
