walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
