Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
