how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
