That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
