Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
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