There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
