He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize