Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
