I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
