Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
