she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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