You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize