its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize