I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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