Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Congratulations! We have a period
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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