I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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