I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
