No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
You need Xanax blowdarts
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
