Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
