im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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