You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
