Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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