I've blown a few things in my day
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
