I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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