I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
