I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
