Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize