She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
