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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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