omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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