We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
