if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Just high enough for therapy.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
