She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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