Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
