Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
We were destined to go to rehab together
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize