Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
